Top 5, compliments of Monica

Top 5 people you want to....

...have sex with. This conversation came up with my friend Monica the other week. SO, who are the top 5 famous people you would want to sleep with? Celebrities generally get on my nerves but here are mine, in no particular order.


1. Nigel Barker (noted fashion photographer from ANTM, he's straight, bald and English)
2. Stephen Colbert (cuz he's fucking funny)
3. Jason Bateman (especially from his Arrested Development days, he's just hot...anyone know how I can get a date with him?)
4. Adrien Grenier (from Entourage)
5. Colin Firth

My list is probably strange to some but I really don't give a crap.

Who are your top 5?

Clay Aiken!!

While standing in line at CVS today to buy toilet paper and licorice (don't ask), I saw a "People Magazine" declaring THE MOST SHOCKING NEWS!!!!!

Clay Aiken (goofy redhead of AMerican Idol fame) is...wait for it....






GAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AND...


He adopted a baby!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Really, Clay?? You're gay? I would have never known. I, as well as countless Americans, feel very duped by you.

You know what else bothers me? That Clay Aiken has a baby before me!!
Not that I like babies, or even want one...but you know, as a heterosexual, almost 33 year old female, I'm kind of irked that he jumped on the baby bandwagon first.

Clay Aiken you queen, you are stealing my thunder!!!

Stalking...posted on my former myspace page

What did stalkers do before the internet?

I was going to delete my myspace page yesterday after somehow a complete psychopath (an ex) found out who my boyfriend is, and contacted him with his psychopath babbling yesterday. We can all thank myspace for this. You see, when you date someone you usually let them have access and become your myspace "friend". Ladies and gentlemen, don't fucking do this. Don't let some asshole who you have only dated for a bit have ANYTHING to do with your myspace, facebook, etc. Because this is what they will do:

1. Write down all your friends names and myspace links.
2. Stalk them for an entire year after you dump their pathetic, psychopath, gross ass.
3. Send your current boyfriend bat shit mothafucka crazy messages.

I can only assume my former psychopath must have been stalking my boyfriend, as my bf was a real friend and myspace friend long before he became the bf. (Now there is a novel idea people, be friends with people for as long as possible so you can weed out the crazies before you allow yourself to have an intimate relationship...yeah, it takes awhile but at least for me, it's worth it. I'm in no rush to the altar anyway, I have time.

I may not be making any sense and unless you are Rhian, Lisa, or Jeff...you are going to be reading this and thinking I am BAT SHIT crazy. I can assure you, I am in fact, not. I am pissed and I feel violated that this psycho would bother my boyfriend.

Ah, but back to the lesson...be careful what you post online...this is truly a voyeur's dream. Make your profile private. Don't just add any Joe Blow to your friends. Don't add the guy or girl you have been dating for 5 minutes. Watch your back bitches, because the world is full of the crazies.

AND finally,

Sometimes doing nothing is the best revenge.

I'm watching you....now go make your profile private!!!

My favorite websites

Just an FYI: my posting are not in any order, I cut and pasted them from Myspace and was too lazy to put them in order.

Anyhoo, here is how I waste some time when I come home from work:

Jen Lancaster is one of the funniest authors I have read and she has her own website which cracks me up, I know everyone has a blog these days but hers is REALLY funny!

1. Jen's website

My friends know that since I have adopted my 2 cats, I have turned into a crazy cat lady...at least I am still cute though, right? So of course, I love this:

2. the LOL cat site
(If you don't find this funny, I'm not sure I can be friends with you anymore.)

I also like to check out this site, has cute animal stories and stuff you can buy your pets.

3. for animal lovers

For my weekly dose of celebrity gossip AND this site has also led me to funny things such as the "Rap: Represented in Mathematical Charts and Graphs" website.

4. gossip and funnies

Finally, I like this site. It has funky clothing, accesories and home decor stuff. It's just fun.

5. Mod stuff

Engineers guide to cats

I just LOVE this!

I got 99 problems and a bitch ain't one

Conversation with my mom last week:

My mom is 65 years old and her name is Charlotte (aka "Charlotte the Harlot"...yes, I do call her this and she does find it amusing and no, she ain't a ho)

Charlotte: "Do you like the music of Jay Z?"

Me: "Yes, how do you even know him and why are you asking me this."

Charlotte: "Wanna go see him in Ireland?"

Me: (nearly peeing my pants at the thought of my mother at a hip hop concert) "Umm, okay, how do you even know about this?"

Charlotte: "I'll send you an e-mail I sent to Aunt Jan about everything. I have to go now. Bye."

Me: "I can't wait to tell Laura this!"

Ranting and how do you have cheap fun?

Well, this isn't really a rant per se, more like general bitching abut nonsense.

I am home on a Friday night.

Why do you ask?

Well, I am generally exhausted after a work week but I have to get up at 5am to go to a orthopedic conference at Yale all day. Woo-hoo. Bitches don't be jealous of my ultra-exciting life.

Things I hate right now:

celebrities

people trash talking about Hilary

that my cats just can't be in love already and instead chose to chase each other all around my place.

TV is meaningless, is there anything really worth watching on?

Boston sports...get over it people and get a fucking life other than sports. I like sports too but you do not have to act like I have leprosy when I tell you I am a Yankees fan...it's SPORTS....It's not like I am telling you I admire Hitler.

What else? I don't like when people criticize me and judge me when I tell them I do not want to have children. Who fucking died and made your sorry ass God? And the people who get all uppity and judgemental about MY decisions, let's just say they lead pretty sucky lives.

Switching gears:

I am on a budget. I need to pay off a little debt and save for my next big trip which is Thailand next year. So, I am trying not to go out and spend money so much.

What cheap fun do YOU all like to have??

Thank you for listening.